Friday, August 26, 2011

Kite by John Rives

I mistook a garbage truck for thunder.

The morning after the first night we made love,
I dreamt thunder was chasing rain
through your neighborhood,
flooding the streets and keeping the two of us
indoors for days or even weeks,
until some old prophet could drop, by in an ark,
to take us and the rest of the paired-up animals
to a very high place, or an island maybe,
where we could just
sleep naked for a living.

But the thunder was a garbage truck.
And when my eyes woke up
a note on your pillow said:
"Good morning, Sparkle Boy!
I'll be back around noon.
You--make yourself at home."

And so I did.

Maybe.

I'm saying maybe I put on your slippers,
which were as comfortable as bunnies
because they were bunnies,
and then shuffled over my new favorite
hardwood floor to the bathroom
where maybe I took a bubble bath,
which is not something I can do at my place
because, frankly, my tub is way too skanky
to ever sit my bare ass down in.
And then maybe I got so caught up in the romance of the suds
I started quoting old Latin poetry from my college days
like: "fulsere quondam candidi tibi soles..."
You know: "Verily a bright sun does favor me this morning...muthafucka!"

And then maybe I...played with myself.
But it’s not what you’re thinking--
I’m saying possibly I just sorta
stuck my hand up from the water, going:

hand!(HERE I HOLD MY HAND UP LIKE A SOCK PUPPET
hand!WITHOUT THE SOCK AND MY HAND TEASES ME
hand!IN A HIGH, SMUTTY VOICE):

HAND: "Somebody got laid last night!
Ha-ha-haaaa!
It was youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!"


Or whatever.

And then maybe I...played with myself,
and it's exactly what you're thinking.
But if I did, it was only to put
the mental motion picture of our naked night together
on replay and replay and replay
so touching myself was just like...
Tivo in a way.

And yes, I was still wet when I borrowed your bathrobe.
And yes, I baked apples in your oven
and then ate them with your honey, honey.
And yes, I scared the birds away from your balcony
with my antics, dancing full-blast
to your old Prince CD's--
but please let’s just keep that my little secret,
because nothing is as private as a solitary dance
unless--maybe--it's standing in front of a full-length mirror
in a borrowed pair of bunny slippers,
slipping off a bathrobe and then wishing to a lightbulb
that my name, or my game, or my whatever were bigger,
wondering: "What kind of woman wants this skinny kid for her warrior?"

And so I made for you a kite, enormous,
out of coat hangers, brown paper bags
and the masking tape from that drawer in your kitchen,
and I hung it in the hallway
where you couldn’t hardly miss it,
and I tagged that kite with my words,
I wrote:

Just so you know--

My weird mind wanders and my brave heart breaks.
I've nailed some milestones, but I've made mistakes,
Cuz I got more faults than a map of California earthquakes.

I am taking a nap beneath your covers.
Wake me if you like me.
Wake me if you want me
Wake me if you need another poem.

Your once and future lover
has made himself at home

-----------------------------------------------------

he is most definitely one of my favorite poets 

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I honestly have no idea what i'm doing. I just wing it and hope for the best. When it comes to life it's all luck and god's will. When it comes to men i notice only few of the repeating patterns that lead to failure. I have no idea what i'm doing. It could all flip over in the blink of an eye and i wouldn't even know what happened. So please, be honest with me. Because otherwise i just keep guessing in my head and i'll never know the answer even after it's too late.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Free Spirit Spheres: Things I'd Like To Try 002




http://freespiritspheres.com/

Kuhl Design Build





 These guys...

...are awesome!

http://www.kuhldesignbuild.com/

Tumbleweed-Houses

 Things I'd Like To Try: 
001 Camping In A Tumbleweed-House

http://www.tumbleweedhouses.com/houses/walden/

doesn't that look nice?

Monday, March 14, 2011

Red Rabbit Drive In

Places I'd Like to Visit (again):
The Red Rabbit Drive In is an old-fashioned 50's style restaurant.  Our restaurant features good food in a unique atmosphere offering curb service allowing you to eat in your car, at one of the outdoor picnic tables, or take it with you.  Burgers, Fries, Ham & Pork Bar-B-Ques, and Chicken Dinners are just a few of the items on the menu and everything is made-to-order.  Wash it down with Birch Beer, a hand spun Milkshake, or a Float.  Finish up with a Soft Serve Ice Cream Cone, a Sundae or a Banana Boat.

What's Your Score?


Some credit score information I found in a random Reader's Digest magazine (October 2009 edition). The article's titled "Your Magic Number" and it has some interesting information that seems useful, so I decided to post it on here. Enjoy!





Better Score, Cheaper House If a family put a 3.5% down payment on a $172,900 four-bedroom house in Greenville, South Carolina, they would take out a loan for $166,850. Here’s what their true bottom line would look like.

Score          Rate            Payment          Cost  
760+          4.981%       $893.75         $326,900 
700–759     5.203          $916.50         $335,090 
680–699     5.380          $934.83         $341,689 
660–679     5.594          $957.22         $349,749 
640–659     6.024          $1,002.93      $366,205 
620–639     6.570          $1,062.30      $387,578
Less than 620: It will be tough to get a loan at all.


Better Score, Cheaper Car A buyer puts $3,000 down on a $25,605 2009 Honda Accord EX-L sedan and finances the rest over 60 months. Here’s his true bottom line.

Score           Rate             Payment   Cost  
720+          6.42%         $441.45     $29,487 
690–719     7.88            $457.05     $30,423 
660–689     9.86            $478.73     $31,724 
620–659     12.79          $511.91     $33,715 
590–619     17.64          $569.60     $37,176 
500–589     18.43          $579.32     $37,759
Less than 500: It will be tough to get a loan at all.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Dreams

I've been sick these past few days and thus have been taking several naps throughout the day. During one of these naps i had a very peculiar dream. After waking i didn't think much of it except i was slightly concerned and the morbid nature. I later was talking with a friend and shared it with him. After sharing my dream my friend insisted that i find a dream book. Now he meant to right down my dreams which I'll admit are usually (if remembered) very detailed. However, initially i thought he meant i should purchase a dream book in which to interpret my dreams. I instantly went online and went in search of something similar that i wouldn't have to purchase. I came across dreammoods.com, which i quickly found to be a wonderful website for analyzing dreams. My friend then insisted that i put my dream on this blog. I then suggested that i could also put what each part supposedly means. He wasn't too thrilled about this idea, but i thought it would be fun. Now this dream in particular i felt was a tad too morbid for online (i know that doesn't make sense, but it's what i felt). So instead I've decided to put up the dream i had the next morning. Which is divisible into three parts.

I dreamed that i was at some type of function that looked like it was held in a church basement. 
To dream that you are attending a function, symbolizes your celebration of life... Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor that you need to find "purpose" in life. 
To dream that you are inside a church, suggests that you are seeking for spiritual enlightenment and guidance. You are looking to be uplifted in some way. Perhaps you have made some past mistakes which have set you back on your path toward your goals. With proper support, you will get on the right track again. Alternatively, the dream may also mean that you are questioning and debating your life path and where it is leading. You are reevaluating what you want to do.
There was a table against one wall and opposite there was a counter that bent around, allowing for people to
 To see a table in your dream, represents social unity and family connections.
move in a space behind. There was a row of crock pots on the counter and my mother was stirring what was
 To see or use a crock pot in your dream, suggests that you need to look at various sources to attack a problem. Alternatively, it means that patience, hard work, and tenacity will pay off in the long run. Hang in there and don't let difficulties and obstacles discourage you.
To see your mother in your dream, represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. 
probably soup in one of them. On the table there were a few big bins/buckets filled with what i presumed to 
Similarly to food, to dream about soup, represents emotional hunger or nourishment. In addition, soup also signifies comfort and healing.
To see or carry a bucket in your dream, indicates an improvement in your current situation.
be snack bags or drinks.

At first i was talking to my mother. Then i saw this big wooden board on a stand that looked like an old toy 
To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother, denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life.
To see something old in your dream, suggests that there is something in your life that you need to replace or get rid of. Alternatively, the dream means that there may be something in the past that you need to incorporate into your current life. 
To see or play with toys in your dream, symbolize childhood, domestic joy and harmony. You may be searching for the comfort and security of home. It also represents playful attitudes and your childish ways.
involving magnets and electricity. I tried to figure it out and my mother offered to help. She kept talking like it
To see a magnet in your dream, symbolizes negative forces that are drawing you towards a path of dishonor and ruin. Alternatively, the dream signifies personal empowerment. Some force is bonding or uniting your relationships together. The dream may also be a metaphor for your magnetic personality.
To dream of electricity, symbolizes vigor and life energy. You need to be revitalized. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you need to conserve your energy.
had some nostalgic value; which i had presumably forgotten about. I declined her offer and finally figured out how to start the toy. I watched the magnet fly across the board in a curved path around several obstacles. I
 To see or play with broken toys in your dream, suggest that you are trying to make the best out of a negative situation.
then restarted it by winding up some type of rod attached to a string. Then i walked over to a lit room with an open door that appeared to be a small bathroom with a bathtub. My mom then walked in behind me with
To dream that you are entering through a door, signifies new opportunities that are presented before you. You are entering into a new stage in your life and moving from one level of consciousness to another. To see an opened door in your dream, symbolizes your receptiveness and willingness to accept new ideas/concepts. In particular, to see a light behind the door, suggests that you are moving toward greater enlightenment/spirituality.
 To dream that you are in the bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, a bathroom symbolizes purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.
 To see or be in a bathtub in your dream, suggests a need for self-renewal and escape from everyday problems. You need to rid yourself of the burdens that you have been carrying. Alternatively, it indicates your mood for love and pursuit of pleasure and relaxation.
some wall hanging that looked like a flat white square teddy bear with pockets. she then said how much she
White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life. Alternatively, white refers to a clean, blank slate. Or it may refer to a cover-up.
To see a square in your dream, signifies strength, solidity and stability. ... To see a square in your dream may also mean that you are "back to square one". You need to start over and go back to the beginning.
 To see or receive a teddy bear in your dream, suggests a regression to an earlier state. You may be reminiscing about early childhood memories. Or it may symbolize lost security, comfort, and companionship. You need to be reassured and taken care of.
To see a pocket in your dream, represents your hidden talents and undeveloped abilities. You are not utilizing your strengths to the fullest potential. Did you find anything in the pocket? Consider the significance of what is inside the pocket. Alternatively, a pocket symbolizes secrets.
enjoyed the wall-hanging and how it was waterproof. She was now putting some young child/boy into the tub.
To see children in your dream, signify an aspect of yourself and your childlike qualities. You may be retreating back to a childlike state and longing for the past. You are trying to still satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Perhaps there is something that you need to see grow and nurture. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within. Alternatively, the dream may be highlighting your innocence, purity, simplicity, and carefree attitude.
If you are female and dream that you see or are a boy, then it indicates that you are developing the masculine aspects of character. 
I presumed it was possibly my younger brother but the boy looked much younger. The water appeared
To see your brother in your dream, symbolizes some aspect of your relationship with him. It can also serve to remind you that someone in your waking life has certain characteristics or behaviors similar to your brother.
To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment.
warm and steaming. The young boy splashed water everywhere especially on the wall, the wall hanging, and 
 To feel warmth in your dream, signifies contentment and satisfaction in your current state. You are happy with where you are. Alternatively, feeling warmth is analogous to hope and unconditional love.
To see or hear steam in your dream, denotes your intense emotional state regarding an issue or situation. You are headstrong about proceeding forth on an issue. ... Alternatively, it signifies a new idea...
To dream that you are being splashed by water, means that you need to be more expressive with your feelings. It also indicates your need to be revitalized.
on my right arm. I checked the pockets of the wall hanging to see if anything not waterproof was in them.
To see your arms as the emphasis in your dream, indicate your nurturance side and your ability to reach out and care for people. Alternatively, it may represent the struggles and challenges in your life. ...The right arm signifies your outgoing nature and is associated with masculine energy
I found two pieces of folded paper. I opened one that looked like newsprint but i couldn't read it. i assumed
Two stands for balance, diversity, partnership, marriage cooperation, soul, or receptivity. It can also symbolize double weakness or double strength. The world is seen as being made up of dualities and opposites, as in the male and female, mother and father, light and dark, heaven and hell, yin and yang, etc.
To dream that you are unable to read the newspaper, indicates that your reputation is being called into question. There is some uncertainty in a situation that you are pursuing.
the papers belonged with the game. (i do not know what happened to these pieces of paper cause i was no longer holding them) 

I then walked out of the bathroom and closed the door only to see another door in front of me. This door 
 To dream that the door is closed or locked, signifies opportunities that are denied and not available to you or that you have missed out on. Something or someone is blocking your progress. It also symbolizes the ending of a phase or project.
however was closed and at a side view since the part of the wall around it bent in a square fashion inward away from the rest of the wall. The door was on the left side of this square and there was a rug in front of it. I
 To see a rug in your dream, suggests that you are trying to shield yourself from some harsh reality. Perhaps there is something that you are trying to hide. Consider the design and condition of the rug. If it is old and worn, then it suggests that you are being taken advantage of. You feel you are being stepped on by others.
then saw my good friend (we'll name him friend 1). 'Friend 1' was sitting on the rug and then stood up and
To see friends in your dream, signify aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Alternatively, dreaming of a friend, indicates positive news.
asked if i wanted to take a ride on his magic carpet. He then joked "only a dollar an hour". I then presumed 
 To dream of a magic carpet, implies your desires and wishes to escape from a situation, relationship, or responsibilities. The dream is similar to a flying dream, so you may want to look up flying.
To hear a joke in your dream, signifies that you are doing something that is either pointless or ridiculous. The dream may serve to alleviate some tension that has been weighing on you.
he was talking about the room, which i sensed was a bedroom for rent (like with hotels, except we were still
 To dream that you are in the bedroom, signifies aspects of yourself that you keep private. It is also indicative of your sexual nature and intimate relations.
in the church basement). I then joked about the price saying "more like a nickel per minute". He found this
To dream that you are telling a joke, denotes that you are not being taken seriously and as a result you are feeling frustrated. On the other hand, you may not be the one who is taking an issue seriously.
funny (so apparently in my dream it made sense). Then i walked over to where the table and counter were to sit down on the floor against the counter.A group of me and 'friend 1''s friends were there, including 'friend 2' 
To dream that you are sitting, indicates your indecision. You do not know what you want to do about something. It also suggests that you are idling and wasting your life away.
To see a group in your dream, refers to the merging of various aspects of your character and personality.
and 'friend 3'. 'Friend 3' was hiding in one of the big bucket/barrels on the table. I could only see the top of his
 To dream that someone is hiding, indicates that you are looking for a sense of security and protection.
head (he has fairly distinctive hair). 'Friend 2' was running around and goofing off with the other guys
To dream about your ex-boyfriend... suggests that something or someone in your current life is bringing out similar feelings you felt during that relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to a similar behavioral patterns in your current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship, may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistakes. Alternatively, you may be reflecting on the positive experiences and good times that you shared with your past love.Metaphorically, seeing your ex in your dream may also signify aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected.
including 'friend 1'. It felt like there was a small crowd around me. All of a sudden someone (I'm not sure
To dream that you are in or part of a crowd, suggests that you need some space for yourself. You need solitude to reflect on a situation and recharge your energy. Consider also the familiar phrase of "going along with the crowd" which implies conformity and lack of individuality. Perhaps you feel that your own opinion doesn't count or matter. Alternatively, dreaming of a crowd means that you need to incorporate the various aspects of the crowd into your own persona.
who.. probably 'friend 1') reached over me onto the counter and picked out two cupcakes and handed them
 To see or eat a cupcake in your dream, suggests that you are treating yourself to a little sweet reward. You feel that you are deserving of some sort of gift of prize. Alternatively, a cupcake represents your need to downsize some aspect of your life in order to make it more palatable or manageable. Take it a little bit at a time.
to me. One of the cupcakes was vanilla with vanilla icing and little white chocolate candy discs on top. The
 To taste or smell vanilla in your dream, indicates a welcoming experience or inviting situation. Alternatively, it symbolizes purity and innocence.
other cupcake was chocolate with dark chocolate icing. I didn't know what to do with these cupcakes so i
To see chocolate in your dream, signifies love, celebration and self-reward. It also suggests that you may be indulging in too many excesses and need to practice some restraint.
To eat chocolate in your dream, indicates that you are embracing your own sensuality.
decided to try to throw the vanilla one into one of the buckets. I didn't see if it made it or not, i think it 
 To dream that you are throwing something, indicates that there is someone or something that you need to rid yourself of from your life. Consider the object that you are throwing. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun that you are "throwing" or fixing a game or situation. Are you working against the objective?
possibly fell into the one 'friend 3' was hiding in. I decided not to take a chance of dropping the second one onto the floor so i decided to eat it. Accidentally i took too big a bite and it filled my mouth and crumbs
To dream that you are eating alone, signifies loss, loneliness, and depression. You may feel rejected, excluded, and cut off from social/family ties. Eating may be a replacement for companionship and provide a form of comfort. Alternatively, eating alone reflects independent needs. Also consider the pun, "what's eating you up?" in reference to anxiety that you may be feeling. To dream that you are overeating or not eating enough, signifies a lack of spirituality and fulfillment in your waking life. Food can represent love, friendship, ambition, sex or pleasure in your life. Thus, food is a metaphor to fulfill and gratify your hunger for love and desires. If you are refusing to eat, then it indicates that you want to be more independent and not rely on others so much. If you dream that you are a picky eater, than it indicates that you are holding back something.
To see or make crumbs in your dream, suggest that you are feeling left out. Do you feel like an outsider in some situation?
fell down all over me. Just then 'friend 2' ran up and landed on my lap. He looked up at me realizing what i 
To notice your lap in your dream, implies opportunities or problems. It also refers to loneliness and loss. To dream that you are holding someone on your lap, signifies your caring and supportive nature. Alternatively, the dream implies that you are open to criticism.
had done and we both laughed. He then said "kiss me you fool" and he moved his hand to grab/touch my
 To hear laughing or dream that you are laughing, suggests that you need to lighten up and let go of your problems. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Laughing is also a sign of joyous release and pleasure. 
 To dream of a kiss, denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment. If the dream ends just about as you are about to kiss someone, then it indicates that you are unsure of how he or she really feels about you. You are looking for some sort of relationship with this person but you are not sure about how to go about achieving it. ...To dream that you are kissing someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend, indicates your wish to be in a relationship and to experience the energy of love. Perhaps you are somewhat jealous. You may be sexually acting out and desire to awaken your passion. Alternatively, the dream indicates a lack of integrity on your part. ...If you are kissing a close friend, then it represents your respect and adoration for your friend. It may or may not signify a romantic interest for him or her. ...To dream that you are French kissing in your dream, suggests that you need to express emotions in a more honest way. Perhaps you need to show more passion or be more open with your sexuality.
To dream that you are being touched, represents your closeness and/or relationship with a particular person. It may also mean that you are connected and well in tune with an aspect of yourself. Alternatively, being touched may be a metaphor that you are feeling emotional and sensitive. 
head and we kissed open mouthed. I wasn't sure whether to go for tongue or not and then i woke up.